Author Archives: team

1. An Unexpected Postnatal Diagnosis

   February 27, 2024 7:12 pm Comments Off on An Unexpected Postnatal Diagnosis

   Most of us have dreamed of being a parent. We imagine how wonderful it will be, what our children will look like, spending holidays watching them play on the beach. We know that it’s not going to be easy, of course – the sleep deprivation, sacrificing your social life, the everlasting ‘mum guilt’. But nonetheless, we crave it.

   Having your baby diagnosed with a disability may feel like all your expectations, hopes and dreams for the future have just come crashing down around you. Everyone will deal with an unexpected diagnosis differently. There’s no textbook here, and struggling with the news is just as valid as taking it in your stride. As well as processing the potential long-term implications, you may also be dealing with a prolonged stay in hospital before being able to take your baby home. Don’t underestimate how hard this can be.

   You will probably go through a horde of emotions; grief for the baby you thought you were going to have, anger that it’s happened to you, sadness that life no longer looks the same. These feelings might linger for weeks, months, or even years; it’s a process that may take time, but you WILL get to a point of acceptance, and contentment.

   If you’re in the early days following a diagnosis, and you’re not really sure which way is up, here are a few tips to guide you along that road to contentment.

   Communicate

   Communicate openly with your partner, your family, your friends. A lot of people will be unsure about how to react to the news too – it’s hard for them to land the balance between being supportive and understanding, without tipping over into pity and patronisation. Take time to explain things to people. Having them treading on eggshells for fear of saying the wrong thing is only going to make them feel awkward, and you feel frustrated. Have open conversations rather than bottling up little irritations; there’s only so much that bottle will hold.

   Acknowledge your true feelings

   Be honest with yourself from the start. When there’s a flood of tears sitting just behind your eyes and someone asks, ‘how are you?’, let those tears escape. There’s no shame in feeling overwhelmed, scared, or desperately sad. Remember emotions are complex, and not mutually exclusive; you can love your baby immensely and still feel angry. Mental health is at the forefront these days and there’s lots of support out there. Your GP or Health Visitor will be able to signpost you to the most appropriate help if you need it – don’t be afraid to ask. There are also services you can self-refer to if you prefer, such as Home-Start or your local NHS Improving Access to Talking Therapies (IAPT) service. Click here to search for your local service.

   Keep a diary

   You may never read it again, you may dig it out in 10 years and see how far you’ve come, or you may publish it! Regardless, the simple act of writing can be a helpful way to process things. From facts, feelings and helpful advice you have been given, to ignorant comments you wish you’d never heard, writing it down helps. And it’s a great way to pass help pass those long days sitting beside an incubator in a neonatal intensive care unit (NICU).

   Surround yourself with the right people

   It can be exhausting explaining things over and over, to people who love you and want to support you, but just don’t quite ‘get it’. Having a conversation with someone who knows what sats, UACs, CPAP, Nutriprem and SaLT* are, will be a mighty relief. Find these people. There’s no substitution for someone going through the same thing as you – whether that’s talking to other parents during your time in NICU, or finding local disability support groups. You will probably feel more comfortable talking about your true feelings with these people, without the fear of being judged. People on the same journey will become an invaluable source of knowledge, advice and support, and lifelong friendships often bud from these unique shared experiences.

   Embrace the highs

   Parenting is riddled with highs and lows. I think it’s fair to say that if you have a child with special needs, the lows will be lower, but the highs will be higher. You will see other typical kids smashing their milestones without any real effort at all. Yes, their parents will be proud. But as a parent of a child with a disability, when you see the determination, the hard work, the strength it takes for your child to grasp that toy, or to take their first step, you won’t just be proud, you will feel like they have just won an Olympic medal. Embrace these highs, they are humbling and beautiful.

   Don’t compare your baby to others

   This is easier said than done, and it might take years before you can truly do it! Seeing other children race ahead in their development compared to yours is hard, there’s no denying it. You may find social media can be very isolating in these circumstances, and giving yourself a break from it might be helpful. Try to concentrate on your child alone. See their progress, accept it might be slower or more limited, and remember how rewarding those achievements are going to be.

   So, you may have found yourself on a different path to the one you expected, a member of a club you didn’t anticipate joining. But having a child with a disability will open up a new world for you; a world of humility, appreciation and gratitude. The experiences you will have, and the people you will meet along the way are going to enrich your life in ways you haven’t yet imagined. Take a minute to read this poignant short story, ‘Welcome To Holland’ written by an American author, Emily Perl Kingsley, who had an unexpected diagnosis of Down Syndrome when her son was born. It beautifully captures the experience of receiving a diagnosis, and serves as a metaphorical reminder to embrace life’s winding path. Holland is beautiful, too.

   

   Sophie Platt lives with her husband, two young girls (Megan and Jessica), and their daft spaniel, Louie. While her post-natal journey with Megan was very typical, Jess was born 2 months prematurely, with a congenital heart defect and Down Syndrome, giving Sophie first-hand experience dealing with a wide range of circumstances. When she’s not wearing her ‘mum’ hat, Sophie works as a small animal Veterinary Surgeon, and enjoys dabbling with some veterinary and medical writing in addition to her clinical work.

   *Sats = oxygen saturations; UACs = Umbilical Artery Catheters, used to measure blood pressure in tiny babies in neonatal care; CPAP = Continuous Positive Airway Pressure, a form of breathing support used in neonatal units; Nutriprem = an infant milk formula designed for premature babies; SaLT = Speech and Language Therapy, also useful for assessing a baby’s swallow

2. Your post-pregnancy body: easing breastfeeding back pain

   January 29, 2024 8:57 pm Comments Off on Your post-pregnancy body: easing breastfeeding back pain

   When you become a mum, your body changes. You have just given birth, one of the most amazing, emotional, physically challenging, and rewarding experiences of your life – it’s okay if your body feels some strain after welcoming your little one into the world.

   Your post-pregnancy body may feel slightly different, and you may experience some common physical complaints, such as back pain, related to your pregnancy or birth, or related to your new routine such as lifting, carrying, or breastfeeding your baby.

   A new mum’s back is put under a lot of strain every day, but there are lots of things you can do to help yourself.

   

   Breastfeeding & back pain explained

   Breastfeeding is a skill. Many women put themselves under enormous pressure trying to master it instantly. If you do choose to try and breastfeed, it is important to be kind to yourself and allow time for you and your baby to learn, and to seek advice from health professionals whenever you need it. NHS guidance reminds mums that there are many different breastfeeding positions, such as the cradle hold and the rugby hold, and it is good to try out different ones to work out what is best.

   However, your back pain could be due to your own posture during a feed, and this can be eased with some posture correction.

   Top tips: breastfeeding & posture

   The number one tip to avoid back pain when breastfeeding is to keep your back straight. Always remember to bring your baby to your breast, rather than bending over baby to breastfeed.

   Before a feed, make sure you are in a comfortable position, with relaxed arms and shoulders. Use a cushion to help support your lower back, and to keep your back straight. If the cradle hold is a breastfeeding position that works for you and baby, sit in a comfortable chair with good back support and arm rests, or on a bed with cushions or pillows around you. If you are sitting on a chair, try resting your feet on a stool or small table – this will stop you from leaning forward which can make your back ache.

   Working on your posture when breastfeeding may help with back pain, but you may still experience backaches from your new daily routine with baby.

   Ways to relieve your aching back

   Your body is still recovering in the weeks and months after pregnancy and childbirth, and your back pain will improve over time. However, there are practical ways to ease the pain:

   • Try not to bend your back. When lifting your baby, make sure you keep your back straight and bend at your knees, not your waist. This means you are lifting with your legs, not your back.
   • If possible, try kneeling in front of your baby when putting them into the car seat, instead of bending your back.
   • Remember to avoid twisting your body when you are holding your baby and try not to carry your baby on your hip, as this can put strain on your back muscles.
   • When picking toys up off the floor or bathing your baby, try kneeling or squatting instead of bending your back.
   • Keep your back straight when you push your pram or buggy.
   • Try carrying your baby in a well-fitting sling which will help hold your baby’s weight up and into your body and allow you to stand straight and relieve your back. Check out our blog on the benefits of babywearing. Here at Mumie we love the Ergobaby Omni 360 sling – comfortable yet secure and supportive for both you and baby.
   • Change nappies on a raised surface. You could try kneeling on the floor next to a sofa or bed.
   • Speak to your GP about whether your body is ready for some gentle exercise, like Pilates or yoga. This can help strengthen your back muscles and improve posture and flexibility. Returning to exercise? Have a read of our blog on how to do this safely after having your baby.

   Bring it up at your postnatal check

   If a physical problem like back pain is worrying you, you can always ask your GP or a health visitor for help at any time. Your postnatal check at around 6 to 8 weeks is a good chance to talk to your GP about how you are doing since the birth. You can find lots of information on how you can prepare for your postnatal check on the Mumie app.

   Although post-pregnancy back pain is common, it is also important to listen to your body, be gentle with yourself and rest up whenever you can. If you are breastfeeding and you have an aching back, or your back is hurting from your new mum routine, remember that what your body has achieved and continues to achieve every day is powerful and should be celebrated.

   

   Karen McCusker is a Copywriter from Ireland, with a passion for creating meaningful connections with others through language. Her goal is to amplify women’s voices and experiences through her writing. She describes herself as a storyteller at heart, and the ultimate “Swiftie”

3. World Breastfeeding Week 2023

   August 7, 2023 2:23 pm Comments Off on World Breastfeeding Week 2023

   This week (1-7 August) marks World Breastfeeding Week, an international campaign from the World Alliance on Breastfeeding action (WABA) to raise awareness of breastfeeding and a call to action on issues relating to breastfeeding.

   The theme for this year’s World Breastfeeding Week is “Let’s make breastfeeding at work, work!” - exploring the impact of paid parental leave, workplace support and attitudes towards breastfeeding on success rates.

   The UNICEF Baby Friendly Initiative details that in the UK, we have one of the lowest rates of breastfeeding in the world, with eight out of ten women stopping breastfeeding before they want to. One of the biggest reasons women choose not to breastfeed, or stop earlier than recommended, is workplace challenges.

   The aim of this year’s campaign is to explore how breastfeeding in the workplace can be supported, and encouraged. It should be up to a mother when she decides to stop breastfeeding, and we hear far too often of women stopping “so they can go back to work.” Length of paid maternity leave also directly correlates with duration and success of breastfeeding, which is a further focus of this year’s World Breastfeeding Week.

   Breastfeeding in the workplace has clear advantages, not just for the mother and her baby, but also for businesses.

   Benefits of breastfeeding friendly workplaces

   Breastfed babies, who have ongoing protection against bugs via antibodies (a protein in the blood that recognises and fights common bugs) passed to them from their mother’s milk, are recognised to have less illness than non breastfed babies. This might support a reduction in parental leave for childhood illness.

   Supporting your employees to continue to breastfeed at work has been associated with an increase in staff morale and loyalty, with a subsequent higher return to work rate. Evidence clearly shows and has been supported by Mumie’s recent post launch evaluation, that supporting women in the workplace when it comes to their parental responsibilities makes them more likely to want to return to the same workplace and in the same role. Not only does this retain skilled and dedicated staff, but lowering recruitment and training costs to replace a role.

   Women of child bearing age make up a significant proportion of the workforce. By making your business a breastfeeding friendly workplace, you incentivise potential future candidates for your roles.

   How to make a workplace breastfeeding friendly 

   Making a workplace breastfeeding friendly needn’t be complicated or costly. Putting in place a breastfeeding policy that understands and supports the needs or nursing mothers is vital.

   Flexible working is key - a break allowance to enable them to feed their baby or express their milk, and flexibility of working patterns are great ways to support a mother to continue to breastfeed whilst working. There provision of a warm and private room that is clean and comfortable for her to express or feed - we hear far too often of mothers having to express their milk in a toilet cubicle which is just not acceptable. A fridge should be available for her to store expressed breast milk.

   It’s not just a “nice to have” option to support breastfeeding mothers. Workplaces have a legal obligation under the Health and Safety Executive to support breastfeeding mothers; that is providing them a private, healthy and safe environment in which to express and store milk.

   Making a workplace breastfeeding friendly can have great impacts for your workforce and supporting women and children’s health both now and in the future. So let’s get thinking… what can your workplace do, to make breastfeeding at work, work?